“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”
~ Steve Jobs, 1987
Happy May Day friends! I find myself filled with such gratitude for life this morning, filled with such peace. I felt as though I could have sat on my outside bench, feeling the vibrations of the universe, soaking up the energy of the sun, for most of the day. But eventually, mind jumped in, and reminded me that I have things which need to be accomplished today (or so mind thinks!) …
My gratitude extends out to my yoga teacher Matece, in that she led me to my Facebook friend, and aspirant, Krishna Chaithanya over in India. I look forward to his posts every day, as it seems he has access to a huge library of philosophical thought, which he so kindly types up and shares, for those of us seeking inspiration, and more pointers along the path to Truth ….
A few weeks back, he posted an excerpt from a book by Hugh Prather, entitled “Notes to Myself: My Struggle to Become a Person.” I was enthralled, as both the post and the title reminded me so much of myself, and my own search. I wondered if the book would give me direction in typing up my own little book of notes to myself, someday. I immediately put the book on order, a $.99 used copy via Amazon.
Upon coming inside this morning, something reminded me that the book had arrived this week, and I pulled it from my mail pouch. The opening entry so clearly expresses my feelings this morning: The gratitude, the peace in my heart, and the blessing I feel for this brand new day …. Gratitude to my guardian angels (who were in the sky yesterday) for watching over me, for safely getting me home, when my car brakes went out, coming down a very steep hill as I was taking a friend to the airport …
—–
If I had only …
forgotten future greatness
and looked at the green things and the buildings
and reached out to those around me
and smelled the air
and ignored the forms and the self-styled obligations
and heard the rain on the roof
and put my arms around my wife
… and it’s not too late …
She may die before morning.
But I have been with her for four years. Four years.
There is no way I could feel cheated,
if I didn’t have her for another day.
I didn’t deserve her for one minute, God knows.
And I may die before morning.
What I must do is die now.
I must accept the justice of death
and the injustice of life.
I have lived a good life –
longer than many, better than most.
Tony died when he was twenty.
I have had thirty-two years.
I couldn’t ask for another day.
What did I do to deserve birth?
It was a gift.
I am me – that is a miracle.
I had no right to a single minute.
Some are given a single hour.
And yet, I have had thirty-two years.
Few can choose when they will die.
I choose to accept death now.
As of this moment, I give up my “right” to live.
And I give up my “right” to her life.
But this morning, I have been given another day.
Another day to hear and read and smell and walk and love and glory.
I am alive for another day.
I think of those who aren’t.
