“Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.”
~ Peace Pilgrim
It’s become a national media circus: A local Terminex employee here in the Virgin Islands accidentally poisoned a prominent family of people while they were vacationing at a villa on St. John. I was so grateful to learn yesterday that it was not our service guy! He’s been treating our home each month for as long as I can remember. He’s like family: A part of my team!!
And as I had a chance to chat with him about the circumstances yesterday, I was amazed at how gracefully he was dealing with all of it. He said that he personally has been losing accounts left and right, and yet, here he is training new employees. Teaching them how to go “above and beyond” even though the company may not be around after the government gets done with them.
It made me think about what it really means to give, without expectation. For this is what he does.
The Bible says: “He that giveth, let him do it with simplicity” (Rom. 12:8 KJV). To give with simplicity means to give with pleasure and without expectation of gain or return. It also means “not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” (2 Cor. 9:7).
Lori Deschene over at TinyBuddha.com lists 20 ways to give without expectation:
1. Give money you can spare to someone who needs it and then pretend you never had it. (or how about giving money that you really can’t afford to spare??)
2. Let someone tell a story without feeling the need to one-up them or tell your own.
3. Let someone vent, even if you can’t offer a solution, just to be an ear—without considering how well they listened to you last week.
4. Help someone who is struggling with difficult feelings by admitting you’ve felt the same thing—without considering whether they’d be as open with you.
5. Ask, “What can I do to help you today?” Then let it go after following through.
6. Tell someone how you feel about them, even if it makes you feel vulnerable, just to let them know they’re loved and not alone.
7. Apologize when you’ve acted selfishly, even if you don’t like feeling wrong, because it will remind the other person they deserve to be treated with respect.
8. Let someone else educate you, even if you’re tempted to stay closed minded, because you value their knowledge and appreciate their willingness to share it.
9. Forgive someone who wronged you because you have compassion for them, not because you know they’ll owe you.
10. Hold someone’s hand when they feel vulnerable to let them know you haven’t judged them.
11. Give your full attention to the person in front of you when you’re tempted to let your thoughts wander just to show them their words are valuable.
12. Assume the best when you’re tempted to suspect someone for no valid reason—even if they haven’t always given you the benefit of the doubt.
13. Accompany someone to an appointment or drive them to an interview when they need support just to help them feel strong.
14. Change your plans for someone you love, if yours weren’t too important, without questioning whether they’d do the same for you. (or how about changing them even if yours were important??)
15. Teach someone how to do something without taking a superior position because they’ve likely taught you many things, whether they were obvious or not.
16. Leave a thoughtful comment on someone’s blog, not to build your readership but rather to show them how they affected you.
17. Tell someone you believe in their potential, even if they haven’t always shown you the same support.
18. Say no when it would make you feel good to say yes, because sometimes being kind means pushing someone to step up and try harder.
19. Tell someone you know they meant well instead of using their mistake as an opportunity to manipulate their guilt.
20. Lori left this one open for us to write … How do you give just to show you care?
Yesterday, I thanked my Terminex guy for his outstanding service, told him that I’d been praying for him (as were my parents), and that I would have stood up and testified in court for him if he needed a character witness. I told him to hang in there, as he headed on his way. The cheerful smile he gave me in return was beyond any expectation.
And today, I will look for more simple ways to give, from the heart, nothing needed in return … Including thanking each and every one of you for taking time out your day to read my posts. You are truly a blessing!
🙂
Resource: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/20-ways-to-give-without-expectations/
