“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.”
~ Fred DeVito
Over the past few days, I’ve been working at implementing some lifestyle changes.
I’ve been up with the sunrise, sitting and photographing, as I normally do. It’s a challenge to meet and greet the sun at it’s earliest moment in her annual cycle. She’s cresting the horizon now at 5:43. I’ve found myself awake around 5:30, peeking out at the pink dawn through my curtains. Wondering if it will be pretty, or worth getting up for. My mindfulness work begins immediately, with soul self getting up despite my thoughts.
I love the extra time these early mornings bring, compared to the winter months when the sun doesn’t rise until nearly 7AM. It’s hard then to maintain getting up at 5:30. It’s something I’d really like to work with. But how to fill those dark hours? I enjoy my meditation most, basking in the rising sunlight.
I haven’t written the last few days, as I haven’t felt inspired. It’s easiest to write also following meditation. I’m not so inspired once I’ve had breakfast.
Instead of writing, I’ve placed my yoga mat out on my western side deck. My body has been really sore, and I’ve been thirsty for my physical practice.
And I’ve made a new discovery. I’m also able to multi-task with yoga and reading 🙂
How my love for yin has just grown !! I can work myself into the posture, which I will need to hold for 5 minutes, then I can pick up a book and read. I can work with my mindfulness – staying present to my breath and body – while allowing the thinking mind to be active. It’s a next level of practice for me. And even after just 4 days of practice, I’m feeling better.
As I move from Butterfly pose into Straddle, I’m reading a wonderful book by Tom Brown, Jr. I read his book “The Vision” when I was in my late 20’s, around the time I moved here. Oddly enough, it was one of my ex-husband’s favorite books. It’s the true and dramatic story of the American Indian tradition of the vision quest, which shares the author’s memories of his grandfather, and describes a journey of spiritual awakening and enlightenment.
(As I type these words, I am recalling that I believe my ex was of Indian heritage (Sioux). And so is Spencer of Indian heritage (Cherokee) Interesting! I do believe this says something for me.)
Much in the tradition of “The Vision”, I am now reading Tom’s followup story “Awakening Spirits” which I was surprised to find in Spencer’s bookshelf this week. The book begins by questioning religion, and how we approach turning towards spirit. It begins with how Grandfather learned to reach that point inside each of us, that connects us with spirit. In the first section, Grandfather questions and learns how he can carry this connection into every day life, outside of meditation or the sacred silence.
I’m sure I’ll have much to share after I finish the book …..
But I was thinking this morning how challenging making lifestyle changes can be. I’m still needing to work with my writing time, this morning yoga time, time in the kitchen, and time for “work”. I’m aware that my energy will wane at 3:00. I’m enjoying my afternoon nap. It refreshes me, and I’m less likely to want a cocktail.
I was thinking that it’s hard enough to change my own patterns. And I’m trying to do so, while being respectful to my life partner. His presence, within my presence.
I remember a few years ago, when he started running and training. His alarm would go off at 6AM, and it really annoyed me. I liked sleeping in !! How ironic that it’s now him who lies in bed this morning. He went up and enjoyed cocktails with our guests last night, while I went to bed. I wait for when he’ll surface. He’s such a good guy 🙂 He’ll try so hard to be quiet, so as not to disturb me, and I love him for that. But the energy in the room will shift for me. It’s become part of my practice now, to stay tied in to my energy as I write, to continue on, as he does his thing. I don’t want him to feel that he’s a distraction in my life, and so he is not! This space is as much his, as it is mine!! I offer gratitude for the support and challenge that our relationship provides.
It’s easy to use our commitment to relationships to justify why we don’t make lifestyle changes for ourselves.
I was thinking that together, we are like the engine and the caboose.
Each of us moving our separate cars and the mutual train along, one sometimes pulling, the other sometimes pushing.
It made me think of one of my favorite childhood stories ….
The Little Engine that Could ….
