“The really frightening thing about middle age is the knowledge that you’ll grow out of it.”
~ Doris Day
I’m not usually one to dwell on my age. I’ll be 49 this year.
But a couple of things have arisen over the past month that have reminded me I’m not getting any younger …
First, my body is incredibly sore from 12 days of 14 hours on my feet on a rocking boat. And I’m pretty worn out too, and have continued taking an afternoon nap since I’ve returned.
I remember looking at myself in the mirror while on my trip, and thinking that I was older than every other crew member, except maybe the captain. I’d like to do more fill-in crew assignments, but am I getting too old? Who wants a 50 year old stewardess, when you can have a beaming, model-esk spring chicken?
While away, I also read in a book that “A person creates up to the age of 53. After that, time takes away from what they have.” Why 53, I wondered ?? I googled it this morning, and sure enough, 53 is now listed as the defacto standard for “middle-age”, up from 41 a few centuries ago, according to a recent British study.
As a villa booking came in yesterday, I thought how nice it would be not to have a mortgage to consume all of it. Oh well, only 20 more years left until it’s paid off !! To which Spencer replied … “We’ll be 68 then, and I have no intention of being here, doing this, for the next 20 years of my life!” Me either.
While having cocktails after the charter, my new friend Simon asked what I would do if I was told I only had a week left to live. I said I’d go to Bhutan. I want to see the happiest place on earth. I want to see Mount Everest in Nepal. I want to visit the Bodhi tree in Bodhgaya, India.
I have quite a number of “bucket list” items. But honestly, most of them feel like pipe dreams. Why even keep a bucket list then?
Why am I not doing something about it? What is the master plan, to turn this list into potential reality? Will it take some illness to make me truly contemplate the limited time I have here, and to do something about it ?
The next 20 years will go by in the flash of an eye. The last 20 sure did.
When I contemplate the Buddha’s concept of anatta, or not-self, I can take comfort in the fact that there is no permanent “I” who is aging. I’m simply growing, as with all things, a “becoming” in a constant state of change. Thus, age and time are truly just another state of mind.
I noted the other day that the four kinds of suffering which the Buddha mentions are “Birth, Old Age, Sickness, and Death”. And contemplation on death (and old age) is noted as a highly beneficial meditation. It’s said to be “The Supreme Meditation”.
“Of all the footprints,” Buddha said, “that of the elephant is supreme. Similarly, of all mindfulness meditation, that on death is supreme.”
Larry Rosenberg writes: “Buddhist practice is about liberation, awakening, nirvana. It is about coming to the deathless. The attachments we form when we live, and that we will have to let go of when we die, are actually what make us suffer while we are here. The Buddha was quite clear on this subject: clinging to things, especially to a sense of self, is what creates suffering. The knowledge that we have to let go of our attachments in death might enable us to let go of them now and save us a great deal of suffering. If we die to our attachments now, we won’t need to later and won’t feel so much fear of death when it comes. The shining light of death can liberate our life, and provide motivation for spiritual practice.”
So to lighten this up a bit, from that same study that now lists 53 as the magic number, here’s 40 signs that you are now middle aged, and better get to that bucket list !!
When do you think middle age starts? Has it changed anything for you? Do you keep a bucket list which you believe is realistic? How many items have you checked off? Let me know in your comments.
The Top 40 Signs of Middle Age:
1) Losing touch with everyday technology such as tablets and TVs
2) Finding you have no idea what ‘young people’ are talking about
3) Feeling stiff
4) Needing an afternoon nap
5) Groaning when you bend down
6) Not remembering the name of any modern bands
7) Talking a lot about your joints/ailments
8) Hating noisy pubs
9) Getting more hairy -– ears, eyebrows, nose, face etc.
10) Thinking policemen/teachers/doctors look really young
11) Preferring a night in with a board game than a night on the town
12) You don’t know any songs in the top ten
13) Choosing clothes and shoes for comfort rather than style
14) Taking a flask of tea on a day out
15) Obsessive gardening or bird feeding
16) Thinking there is nothing wrong with wearing an anorak
17) Forgetting people’s names
18) Booking on to a cruise
19) Misplacing your glasses/bag/car keys etc.
20) Complaining about the rubbish on television these days
21) Gasping for a cup of tea
22) Getting bed socks for Christmas and being very grateful
23) Taking a keen interest in The Antiques Road Show
24) When you start complaining about more things
25) Listening to the Archers
26) You move from radio one to radio two
27) Joining the National Trust
28) Being told off for politically incorrect opinions
29) Flogging the family car for something sportier
30) When you can’t lose six pounds in two days anymore
31) You get shocked by how racy music videos are
32) Taking a keen interest in the garden
33) Buying travel sweets for the car
34) Considering going on a ‘no children’ cruise for a holiday
35) When you know your alcohol limit
36) Obsessively recycling/ knowing the collection dates
37) Always carrying a handy pack of tissues
38) Falling asleep after one glass of wine
39) Spending more money on face creams/anti-aging products
40) Preferring a Sunday walk (or meditation) to a sleeping in 🙂
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/28/middle-age_n_3830194.html
