“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.”
~ Tony Robbins
Good morning friends. After a couple of days of some pretty deep introspection on my part – which I was happy to share – I’m going to move back into a bit of chakra theory. Not that my introspection ever really moved away from it 🙂
As you might recall, the human energy system, according to many modalities of yoga and healing, has 7 centers. We’ve reached the middle chakra of the heart, which mediates between the body and spirit. Fourth chakra energy is emotional in nature. It embodies the yogic code of ethics and path – how we relate to the world – and then hopefully come to realize that we must “let go and let God”.
As we surrender our ego to the Divine self, we accept our personal emotional challenges as extensions of a Divine plan. By releasing our emotional pain, by letting go of our need to know why things have happened as they have, we reach a state of tranquility. In order to achieve this place of inner peace, we have to embrace the healing energy of forgiveness and release our lesser need for human self-determined justice.
It was a beautiful thing yesterday to hear from a friend, who decided to let go of some greeting cards she had sent to her father while he was ill. She released the need to know why, coming into the realization that she gave the best she could, and that no matter what she did, the Divine always holds the master plan. Hanging on to these cards didn’t keep his memory any more alive, nor did it change the situation in any way. Actually, the only way for her to get over the heartache, was to release the past and her attachments. And by golly, she did!
For many of us, healing in this chakra will be very difficult, as first, it will require much delving into our tribal relationships, interpersonal relationships, and our relationship with ourselves. Carolyn Myss writes: “The challenge inherent in the 4th chakra is similar to that of the 3rd, but is more spiritually sophisticated. While the 3rd chakra’s focus is on our feelings about ourselves in relation to our physical world, the 4th chakra focuses on our feelings about our internal world – our emotional response to our own thoughts, ideas, attitudes, and inspirations, as well as the attention we give to our emotional needs.”
First off, so many people aren’t even in touch with their inner dialogue. Until this can begin, there can be no healing. As a yoga teacher and student, one only has to watch how difficult it is for new students when it comes to the final posture of savasana. People literally begin twitching, because when placed in stillness, their mental dialogue is so acute and painful, they can hardly bare to lay there with these thoughts for 30 seconds, let alone 5 to 10 minutes! Discovering our own emotional nature and landscape isn’t easy!
But recall in the stages of development of the 3rd sacral chakra, the final step is invocation. We must begin the formidable task of getting to know ourselves. Not in relation to anyone or anything, but in relation to ourselves alone.
Part of the problem, says Myss, is that while our society is beginning to encourage this development, it’s not gone as far as to heal. We have bazillions of support groups, but unfortunately, she says we’re becoming a culture of “woundology”. We use the revelation and exchange of our wounds as the substance of conversation which binds our relationships, a “relationship currency” of sorts.
Myss gives a number of very good examples of how we use our “woundology”. Certain friends on Facebook fall into this category, literally the walking wounded, who wear their wounds on their sleeve.
Myss writes: “Healing our pains from childhood and adulthood does not mean ‘marketing them’. As we do, we become seriously invested in the authority of our wounds. While the original intent of the support groups was to help people experience a nurturing, compassionate response to a personal crisis, no one expected them to continue until the person was healed from the crisis, let alone function as the agent of that healing. They were intended merely to be a boat across a river of transition. But very few have wanted to get off the lifeboat when they reach the opposite shore. Without a schedule for healing, we risk becoming addicted to what we think of as support and compassion, and never move on from it.”
Our problem is one of misunderstanding the two key ingredients in healing: That of compassion and that of forgiveness.
“Compassion is the strength to honor another’s suffering, while bringing power back into one’s life. We have yet to create a model of healthy intimacy that is empowered, yet still vulnerable. At present, we define healed as the opposite of needy. Therefore, to be healed means to be fully self-contained, always positive, always happy, always sure of oneself, and never needing anyone.” No wonder few ever consider themselves healed !!!
Secondly is our misunderstanding of true forgiveness. “Forgiveness is not the same as telling the person that harmed you “it’s okay”. Rather forgiveness is a complex act of consciousness, one that liberates the psyche and soul from the need for personal vengeance and the perception of oneself as a victim. More than releasing from blame the people who caused our wounds, forgiveness means releasing the control that victimhood holds. The liberation that true forgiveness generates comes in the transition to a higher state of consciousness, both energetically and biologically. It literally can perform miracles.”
I’ve been working in the 4th realm of the heart chakra for quite some time. And it’s been painful, yet at the same time, true forgiveness has opened up huge spaces in my heart for compassion to enter.
Tomorrow, we’ll talk about some of the physical ailments that may result if we cannot open our hearts up to forgiveness, along with ways to help open up this chakra when you are ready.
Today, ask yourself what emotional memories still need healing for you, heartaches that you need to let go? Where do you still see yourself using your own “woundology” to keep relationships in tact? Are you ready to forgive, to “let go and let God”??
