“He who is content is rich.”
~ Lao Tzu
Contentment? Do any of us really know what this is?
Every day, we are bombarded with media messages that tell us that what we have isn’t good enough. Skin creams to make us look years younger. Magic gizmos that will let us lay on the couch and develop the abs of Super Man. Fancy cars that will attract sexy women in droves. Beautiful home furnishings that will make our neighbors envious. $150 sneakers for 10 year olds. This pill, that pill. This diet, that diet.
Napoleon Hill would write: “The people who don’t prosper in this world have one distinguishing trait in common: They have airtight alibis to explain away their lack. They are living the life of “old man if” …. If only I had enough money, if I had a good education, if I had a better job, more time. If only people would understand me, if I’d had a better childhood, if I were younger, if I didn’t have kids to look after, if I didn’t have so many worries …..” There are 55 of these air-tight alibis, but no doubt you get the picture, and have heard yourself saying at least one of them.
If not now, when?
Unless we make the conscious effort to turn inwards towards that light I discussed yesterday, most of us will be caught up in the worldly snare of wanting, with very little hope of finding freedom from it. It’s the only way we’ve learned to relate to this world, through our current society. And in the end, we’ll find ourselves unhappy. Not content. Not knowing why. I know. I was there.
What do most people want? When asked, most people will say that they want to be happy (or happier). Yet, when asked what will offer them this envisioned happiness, most people can’t say. Happiness is often something elusive, in the future, that we create in our minds, dependent upon a certain set of circumstances. It makes me begin to sing the theme song from Anne:
Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
I love ya Tomorrow!
You’re always
A day
A way!
What if we could drop all thoughts of tomorrow, and be happy (or happier) in the here and now, with what is?
This is what the 2nd Niyama or observance of yoga asks us to do. Debra Adele writes: “The yogic principle of Santosha invites us into contentment by taking refuge in a calm center, opening our hearts in gratitude for what we do have, and practicing the paradox of “not seeking.”
“There is a Chinese proverb which states, “People in the West are always getting ready to live.” There is a remarkable truth to this proverb. When we are little we can’t wait to get big, when we are big, we can’t wait to get out of the house, then we can’t wait to get through college and get a job, then we can’t wait until our vacations, and finally, we can’t wait until retirement. As the Chinese proverb states, we never really live, we just get ready.”
When we look outside of ourselves and to the future for happiness, it will always elude us. We are like the proverbial horse with the carrot stuck out on a stick in front of him, or the monkey caught by wanting that banana behind the bars.
When you begin to practice yoga on the mat, you’ll soon become aware that alot of outside things bother you …. The person across the way that keeps coughing. The car beeping loudly on the street outside. The bright green nail polish on the girl’s toenails next to you. Don’t the lights seem to be turned up brighter than normal today? That “tramp stamp” tattoo on another yogi’s back … Why would anyone get one of those? Wow, she’s super flexible … Will I ever be like that ?!? Is everyone else in class wearing LuLu Lemon wear …. Are they snickering at my cheap outfit from Marshalls?
Hopefully, we’ll soon come to realize that we have a choice. Every single one of these disturbances, every like and dislike, WE actually created. It’s all in our orientation to the present moment and the life that surrounds us.
Here’s 5 Ways to begin developing Santosha or Contentment with Life
1. Work towards having less preferences. “The way isn’t difficult for those who are unattached to their preferences.” If you want to begin to experiment with the truth of this statement, try spending days doing what you don’t like and not doing what you do like and see how attached you are to your preferences.
2. Practice foregivess. “Think about it – what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.” Whether we react to this perceived offense with a verbal explosion, silence and withdrawal, confiding in someone else, or saving the offense until six months later when no one else remembers, emotional disturbance is an inappropriate and wasteful use of energy. It is a stance of powerlessness that guarantees contentment will always be out of reach.
3. Practice gratitude. As in the Disney movie Pollyanna that I watched while on the couch the other day, play the “glad” game (or the thank you game). Look to find the good in every situation. Be glad for what you do have. Offer thanks for it.
4. Find your OM. There is a Japanese proverb that states, “The noise does not disturb you, you disturb the noise.” The more you practice yoga and meditation, the easier it will become to drop into a state of contentment. You learn that peace is within, and you’ll begin to build your “abiding calm”. You’ll stop jumping at every “dropped chair”. When something outside is disturbing you, you can choose to find your OM in it. Make peace with it. Let it go or just simply let it be. It’s always your choice.
5. Gain comfort in the Paradox. “Contentment is falling in love with your life.” Spend time meditating on the fine balance between seeking and not-seeking. We are humans, meant to find enjoyment in this world. Can we go out, be our best, have nice things, and yet not seek. Can we work on building & finding contentment with boredom, sadness, impatience, depression, disappointment, and loss? Being content with our discontentment is itself a gateway to the calm depths within.
It’s so very simple. Happiness & Contentment are a state of mind, completely within reach. Right now. With exactly what you have or don’t have.
“I’ve got nothing to do today but smile.”
~ Paul Simon
Namaste.
If you enjoyed this post, you can find the beginning of this series,
Exploring the Yamas and Niyamas: The Yogic Code of Ethics, here:
Permalink: http://www.reflectionsonsunrise.com/2014/03/07/finding-more-meaningful-restraints-for-lent/
