“Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor.”
~ Alexis Carrel
Out marched Chantal, and in marches the Sahara dust that was part of her demise, and hopefully the next series of waves coming off of Africa. It is one hazy day! And I can tell already that it is going to be a hot one !!!
Over the past few days, I’ve been noticing a steady, low level angst within myself. I sat with it for some time yesterday afternoon. Tropical storm season often prompts this, but usually, through yoga, I can work that angst through my system. Gabby’s still not back to her normal self. She’s acting weird, trembling and weak. There is this intuition telling me that something is the matter. It has me troubled. But what else?
It’s been almost a year since I moved on from my computer business. And I still have not hit upon exactly what it is that I want “to do”, where I want to go next. I’m feeling unsettled, restless.
But I’m ok with this, because I can sit with these feelings in awareness. As Erika Harris writes: “It is good to feel lost… because it proves you have a navigational sense of where “Home” is. You know that a place that feels like being found exists. And maybe your current location isn’t that place but, Hallelujah, that unsettled, uneasy feeling of lost-ness just brought you closer to it.”
Searching for quotes on unsettledness brought me back to a poem or quote which carried me through the past few challenging years. It holds as true today, as it ever has. If you too are feeling unsettled, like you are being tumbled around in a washing machine of change, I hope this poem brings you the peace it’s always given me. I’m living many of the unanswered questions of four years ago ….
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms or books that are written in a very foreign language. Do not search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer ….”
~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
