“That which I do not forgive in you, lies unforgiven within myself.”
~ Buddhist Proverb
This morning’s early sunrise seems to capture so perfectly the renewed calm, both for mother nature and for myself. A large group of white butterflies danced below, and I found myself laughing … If only I could focus on my meditation as intently as my cat was focused on her prey ….
So yesterday, I found myself in the position of either taking care of myself, or pleasing others. It’s caused me to reflect on why the options feel as though they are mutually exclusive? Reflecting brought me to one of my favorite posts over at TinyBuddha.com
Are you overextending to please others? My Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters by Portia Nelson:
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost. I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in; it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
In the end, the author begins to wake up to the idea that she actually does have choices. Decisions can be based on her own preferences and needs instead of a sense of obligation. We all have a choice about how we respond to others’ demands. A choice about how to react when the tsunami of items on our to-do list threatens to overwhelm us. A choice about saying, “yes” to one more volunteer project or saying “thanks, but not now.”
“We’re all perfectly imperfect human beings.”
There is freedom inherent in this thought. If being imperfect is part of the definition of being human, maybe it’s okay to make mistakes and (oh, goodness!) disappoint someone!
Happy Friday. And I hope you find the courage to take care of yourself this weekend, if social obligations are threatening to push you over the edge …. Simply say no …
“You can’t always please everybody, but you can do what makes you happy, and just hope that those around you will be happy for you.”
Need some help learning to put your needs first, without feeling the need to make excuses or offer apologies?
Here’s a bookmark for later ….
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/stop-overextending-yourself-to-please-others-6-simple-tips/
