“I preach that odd defiant melancholy that sees the dreadful loneliness of the human soul and the pitiful disaster of human life as ever redeemable and redeemed by compassion, friendship and love.”
~ John Derbyshire, Fire from the Sun
I was forced to reflect on all of the myriad of chores that must be accomplished for me to take a short break. Errands, cleaning, cat sitter, pool pumps, gardening, packing, electronics, neighbor wanting to meet about some construction, and the list goes on. And I realize I don’t like things hanging over my head. It takes me out of being present.
Jon Krakauer wrote in his journal ‘Into the Wild’:
“Make a radical change in your lifestyle and begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt.
So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future.
The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun.
If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security and adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning and its incredible beauty.”
This too shall pass. I’ll be happy, relieved, once I’m on the plane. But then as vacation creeps by, returning home will then hang over my head. In Matthew (8:18) Christ says, ‘Foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’
I’m not ready for the homeless life, not ready to sell off the cats just yet ;). But I sense something needs to change, so that I may be free to do my work, and come and go with nothing more than turning a lock at the door.
While I’m bound in my present life situation, I am however, going to try to make it my mindset today to stop worrying about things to come, offering myself compassion, friendship and love to break free from this melancholy of mine. How about you? Do you sometimes wish you could go into the wild? ❤
